another moment / Mom (mom)
So another occassion, another day named for a celebration , just another moment with the void of your laughter, your smile, your hugs and comfort. I guess there are not many people that can understand living with this hole, living with each moment of void , living with knowing what should have been,but i cant blame them. I too wish with all my heart that I could be one of those people who just cant comprehend what truly having a part of their heart cut out . KNowing that the child you gave birth to, who exceeded all your expectations on what a human being should be is just not comprehensable for most. Each day another moment in the hospital flashes by ,another moment of your courageous fight flashes by . Who could ever comprehend this and why woukd they want to . But there are so many wonderful ,loving supportive people in this world and thats what makes each moment ,each second bearable. I really do not have many words ,there has been so many things that have transpired over these past few weeks, so many days that we as a family had to holdeach other up,but with the love and the support and the strength of your love Tyler along with Rian we are still vertical and will remain so . Your foundation is growing ,it is touching and reaching so many,and you have not been forgotten ,and you continue to save somany lives ,so with our pain comes good .Yes I wouldtrade it all in a heartbeat to hold you ,to go back in time,but unfortunately it is not an option so we as a family have to choose the path we take and that path along with the strength and love from so many is to continue and make sure that no other child ,no other family has to endure . I love you cookie and really cant say much more .It has been a very difficult time, but we will stay strong ,if you could do it ,we will as well. Close
Whats up , hope you are settled in and taking charge,lol. Probably not you being you. Down here your still in everyones thoughts. This weekend is the festival in the park and Joel Fass has been generous and kind enough to remember you and provide us with a table.
The rest of stuff down here is utterly draining. The stupidity of it all is just amazing. What a waste of precious time. As we have all learned life is precious without any guarentees for anyone as to when there time on earth is over. I know there is something after because this can't possibly be all there is. You can only hope that there is a heaven and hell so that retribution for ones actions in this life are held to account.
Helped Mom clean out your closet of clothes,one of the tougher things one has to do but boy it made me laugh. Some of the crap you had,lol. I remember some of the outfits.
Well gotta go,things will get better and life just keeps going on as it always does making it more bearable for all. Keep watch over everyone and say Hi.
Sometimes it's easier to forget... / Brittany Goldberg (Sister)Read >>
Sometimes it's easier to forget... / Brittany Goldberg (Sister)
It's been almost two years since your accident, almost two years from the day that you were physiologically you. It seems almost impossible to forget that day, I could tell you exactly where I was, what I was doing, and even the shade of white that my skin turned. I could tell you how horrified I was to have heard the unexpected & how upset I was that no one would tell me how badly you were injured. I could play back the drive from where I was to Grandma and Poppys house, and what was going on in my mind from the trip from Delray to Weston - what a silent drive that was. I could tell you how empty the house felt and how I felt as I walked by your bedroom door. I could tell you how many goosebumps were on my arms as I went to visit Mom & Dad in the waiting room with Rob by my side. I could tell you how akward it was to introduce my boyfriend to Mom at such a horrific time - - but I can't tell you how akward he must have felt meeting everyone for the first time - at such a horrific time. I could tell you how hard I wanted to scream when I saw you in the hospital for the first time, and how badly I wanted to shake you and tell you to get up and tell me you were going to be okay. I could tell you how hard it was to look at Rob and introduce him to you when you were like that. I could tell you how it felt to be in that room with you where you didn't belong, and how it felt to look at Mom and Dad. I could tell you how hard it was to look at Rob and see his eyes well up in tears when he saw you for the first time. I could tell you what it was like to hear the doctors say how good you were doing, and how you were okay - when you just lyed there, not breathing on your own. I could tell you the thoughts that ran in my head as I saw you how I had never seen you before, and how helpless I felt. I could tell you where I was when I got the phone call that you had passed, I could tell you how much I wanted to scream. I could tell you how it felt to hear the words if a Grandmother as she broke the news that her Grandson had not made it. I could tell you, I never want to hear her talk like that again. I could tell you how I thought it was some kind of sick joke and how I made Rob take the phone...I could tell you how it felt to hear him say, "it's true, let's get something black and go". I could tell you how I wanted to punch the window and how much it hurt to breathe. I could tell you how hard I clutched my chest, how deep I had to inhale to get some air through my body. I could tell you how many raindrops fell on my head as I sat in our driveway, and how hard it was to stand up when uncle jeff and aunt grace got there. I could tell you how angry I was that God did this to us....I could tell you now, I realize it wasn't. I could tell you how it felt like a movie at your burial. I could tell you how I felt like an outsider, how removed I felt from the rest. I could tell you how a piece of me went along with you - but, I'm not the only one who could tell you that. I could tell you that these two days stick out from all the rest. I wish I could tell you all these things, but sometimes, it's easier to forget... Close
I am constantly thinking of you. The hurt and sadness is overwhelming. It's just that you should be here. I see and listen to your Mom's pain. I just don't know what else to do, except be there for her and not let anyone hurt Her any more. Your Sisters are tough and know I am there for them as well. You are always in our conversations. Funny how some think going to a show about the after-life is going to make things right. Guess they feel that is the closet they will get, 'cause when it's their time, they are going straight to HELL. Some are just not man-enough to leave woman and children alone. Nagging, bullying and stealing until they get what they want. Well guess what, in life the squeaky wheel does not necessarily get the oil.
Yes Tyler, I know. I am still pissed. Even angrier now than ever before. But, the difference is You were always there to calm me down. You did not even have to say a word.
How does one fill a hole that can never be filled? / Mommy (mom)Read >>
How does one fill a hole that can never be filled? / Mommy (mom)
How does one fill a hole that can never be filled in their heart? I finally figured out that , that is what I have been walking around in circles attempting to do . It can't be . You had such a big part of my heart, and it has been crushed into tiny pieces ,it will never ever be filled ,it will never be put together again. Yes on the outside it may look that way but on the inside we are all broken and can never ever be repaired from the loss of your voice, your love, your peacefulness,your laughter and just the plain simple things of your arms wrapped around me, of calling me in your room to watch something that you thought was hysterical and I thought was ridiculous .All you would do was laugh. T he thought of you lying in bed with me and telling me things about your day or your friends or just simply being there next to me . How ever can that void be filled? It just can not ! THen to have someone constantly try to destroy more of what is left,try to hurt more ,as if enough hasn't been done,how does one fill that ? Your shoes can never be filled,your love can never be replaced and just your very presence can never be forgotten ,no matter how much someone tries. You were and are just too much of a human being ,too filled with love and heart. Reading about the stories of your motions, your life somehow gives me something to hold on to but yet makes it all the more painful. Reading the hurt ,the pain that this entire family and community feels is overwhelming. But somehow we are all still vertical and haven't given up on goodness and love,and I have to believe that with all the love and support that we are surrounded with ,along with your and Rians strength wrapped around us ,we remain in the vertical position. All we have is to make sure that no one ever forgets ,no one ever has to endure this pain, no one ever has to be us and your name lives on with in all those who you will educate, help to make the right decisions , enhance their priorities of what is important in family ,life and love. Educate on life in total and responsibility along with what I always tried to teach you consequences. You my son didn't have a choice , you endured the greatest strength that not only any child but man had ever had to endure . It hurts too much to think of the pain you went through,how scared you were . All I could think of was I able to comfort you and make you feel safe at all .I can only hope that ,though I never said it was okay to give up,that you made that final decision that you never wanted to be any less than who you were,and that you have achieved .You ,if possible are more than most could be in a lifetime . A hero, a heart ,and just a pure gift to all. Close
Hope you have finally broken in the world above. i am sure everyone is doting over you like the king that you were here. Mr teflon never got blamed for stuff LOL. I miss teasing you about it and seeing you get mad at me for breaking your boys. Remember at the ice rink when you showed up with those silly skates because you were late and they were unitied and you looked like you just got up and I asked you if you were ever going to hit somebody . You told me in your Tyler tones that the coach told you not to get a penalty and I said to heck with the coach hit something,anything. You looked me dead in the eye and screamed at me( I almost fell down I was so shocked) you wouldn't do it and that was it. UI don't know why but It just flashed in my head as I sat at my desk today.
Oh well it makes me smile to think about you and those moments.
the best ltl brother / Jordan Goldberg (sister)Read >>
the best ltl brother / Jordan Goldberg (sister)
i havent written in a while, and cant write long now, but i just wanted to say i miss u and love u so much, and so does everyone, we were sitting in ur room the other day playing the wii and cole goes jordan im sad an i said why and he said i miss tyller and i said we all do but hes always in our hearts...i know that u are with me every second of everyday and for that i wake up every morning with a smile on my face but last night something got to me...fernando called me at 2:30 in the morning and disruptedme from my sleep but whatever not the point he was like jordan i just wanted to tell you your the best little sister, it kinda broke my heart to hear him say that because i cant hear from u all the thankk yous and that u loved me and that u were so happy i was ur big sister and i cant tell u how happy i am to have had u as my little brother for the short 14 years of your life, we were sitting on the couch the other day on january 18th and i told mom 2months and im 19 and she just looked at me, that would mean 2yrs since ur accident and thats all i have to remember for my birthday the last day of you being you well that day replays in my head all the time..i miss u more then anything babe
what to say and how to express it / Mommy (mom)Read >>
what to say and how to express it / Mommy (mom)
Tyler , my sweet boy I sit and think how can words express all the feelings,emotions, and loss that are continue on a daily basis . I have met so many people who have the ultimate pain as we do and think that your foundation is doing what it is suppose to do ,what you would and did .It brings people together ,puts perspective on life,family, responsibility and love for most people. There are so many things in process now ,so much good that you are doing and will continue to do ,with the support of all those who love you,who miss you and who recogonzie that something must be done . Without all those people we could not be on the path that we are on. I cannot tell you how proud I am to be your mother . How proud I am that you have been embedded in so many hearts and my fear that you would be forgotten ,isnot going to happen.On the contrary you are in so many thoughts each and every day ,as they make decisions, as they kive their lives ,they remember what is important,they remember the responsibility of taking care of others and they recogonoze what is really important in life. How many people can say that they have achieved this ,not many,not in an entire lifetime . So many people across the nation have contacted me one way or another to say that you have touched them,that you have saved so many lives already . Your sisters and brother have the same heart as you,the same love for others as you and I am so thankful for that.THat is what is truly important ,all the other stuff is meaningless, makes a persons life meaningless,but this community has shown its heart and love ,they can be proud to know that they have and continue to make a difference for so many and have saved so many lives for taking you in their heart. As I Have said so many other times, no we are by far not lucky ,but so blessed toi have the support and love by so many. Yes I would give it all up to have your laughter,your smile ,your peacefulness , your being ,but no choice there,so instead we will contineu on our paqth ,with the love and support that we have and do what we have to ,so that no one else has to endure this heartache .I willnot waste my time on ugliness,that is not who you were or are ,therefore I will not do that .I will continue your paqth of love for life,love for people and peace. I love you my son,my cookie and you are with me every second of the day Close
our tyler forever in our hearts.. / Grandma (grandmother)Read >>
our tyler forever in our hearts.. / Grandma (grandmother)
hi tyler. havent written in a while. guess im just to angry to waste time on idiots.... didnt want to unvolve you, but.... since your dad said it. i can just say hooray tohim. he said it all. take it from who it comes they are just words with no meanings. he doesnt know the meaning of heartfelt feelings and how to express feelings. he has =none. he is a machine empty .... too bad..... it will get worse. but. let me tell you mom is doing fine, getting stronger all the time. you keep her strong and all of those that love her so much. britt can handle anyone.... good for her.... jordan is a blessing and words just slip off her back... she knows what counts and what doesnt. cole will know all he has to know when the right time comes. he is filled with loved ones around him and so very bright its scary. he knows when someone says something thats 'THATS NOT NICE' THOSE ARE HIS WORDS..... cant talk about his family he knows..,,.. britt, jordie mom and poppy, me and your uncles, aunts, cousins are cole s strong hold and we all surround him with love, integrity, and strength. you started it all and it will live on and on. rest in peace my love.
Quick question ,What the heck are you doing up there allowing the Jets to crash and the freakin Gators win the national title, Hello wake up and start doing what I taught you. We still have the Rangers to look after don't mess it up.
Gotta love Dad's spunk, he is the only one I would allow to use anger as a means of communication but ,guess what he can. You were the apple of his eye (father son stuff relax girls and Mom). That was stolen from him so you understand his feelings as only his son can. You are special young man and your name has taken on a life of its own. Well gotta go
Missing you every minute of every day. Some days its tough just getting out of bed and getting on with my day.
Live my life angry every day. I'm furious.
People try to understand. But no one can get it.
It's amazing to me how to this day this moron walks around like nothing happened. Instead, he is picking on you Mom, batteling Britt with away messages. Now his mother is feeding Cole with insults towards Jordan. Well, like i always told you Tyler, he's nothing but a coward and a moron. You should have let me approach him after that first incident. I said it once before, instead of picking on woman and children..if he's got something to say all he has to do is knock on the door..I'll answer. If his mommy wants to throw insults..throw them in front of people's faces instead of going through a baby. But that's what cowards do.
Once again, you know where I'm at. All you have to do is knock.
As the days go by it is apparent that there is no way to find peace or make sense of why such a special loving person,who only loved and wanted to love was taken away .The only thing to do is take it second by second ,day by day ,and do good in your name ,so that you continue the path that you were on when you were here. I think how you wanted to be a doctor just for the pure reason of helping people. That ws always your primary objective ,so therefore with all of the help of our family,the community ,the world we will continue your path with the guidance of your strength ,courage ,and in the true sense of the word heroism. You were and are more of a man in your young age than most grown men who live a life time .You knew what was important and what family and love really meant .It was always innate within you . Your peacefulness and love for life has been embedded in so many lives and made an impact on more than most people can touch in an entire lifetime . That dosent take the pain away ,it only gives us the strength and the desire to continue to do what you always did and set out to do . Your uncle and I went through your things and tears were just uncontrollable,the memories ,the laughs ,your sense of humor was overwhelming . Your uncle couldnt believe that the things that I kept for so many years ,your prek shirts ,your toys ,your books .I had to explain to him that you would not let me give anythign away because you wanted to save it for your children .Well that has been taken away from you ,but now your brother will use it ,and we will save it , and we will make sure that your wishes are respected . I dont really know what else to say other than I am so thankful for having so many people encircle our family and help us through each day . I love you cookie and words cannot possibly really say what is in my heart. I have been told many times over be careful what you wish for ,well what I wish for cannot be ,so therefore we will carry on your wish, the love for people. Close
Just thinking about you some more. / Becca Zollo (friend)Read >>
Just thinking about you some more. / Becca Zollo (friend)
Tyler it has been a long time since you left and it still feels like it was the other day. It is hard to think about it all and how soooooo many questions are left unanswered. The other week I was talking to myself again (lol. because we BOTH know cool people talk to themselves.) and like I was trying to figure out how life would be if you were still here. (We= our group of like 5 people we had. We were SOO cool. hehe.) Would we still have movie night at my house every friday or saturday night? Would we all still be really close? Would we all still share those crazy stories we had? Would we still send stupid text/IMs to each other? Would you still make me smile when I was going threw the hardest times with family, friend, and of course boy problems? Well that last question was obviously stupid because you would always be there for anyone no matter if you were friends with them or not. And I think that is why when you left us you made the BIGGEST impact EVER on a ton of people. UGH! Every time I write on this website it hits me and I cry because I know there is no way to bring you here back with all of us. Even though I know you're always looking over us.
So for my birthday every year you always got me THE BEST GIFT. Even better than some of my boyfriends at the time. lol. One year you gave me that John Deere little locker. Next year you walked up to me giving me a HUGEEE bubble bath basket, which fallowed "Jordan helped me pick it out since I'm not so into smelling perfume." And gave me that goofy look. lol. But it was funny because you always use to make fun of me how I still take baths with my "rubber duckies". lol. Well this year, mom surprised me and took me out to dinner (Buca Di Beppo) with family and Jordan and my boyfriend. Mom told me get into the car after I put nicer clothes on then soccer shirt and shorts, and wouldn't tell me where we were going. Well we had to pick Jordan up and when mom went straight into the meadows instead of turning. I was like..... JORDANN!!!!!! And mom told me we were celebrating my birthday. When I walked in your house (because I HAD TO see my little boyfriend Cole) he had that little shy smile on and your mom, Jordan, and Brittany told him to give me what he made me. So he handed me a card that looked like this:
Soooo.. I'm not quite sure what it says (lol) but I know it's on the lines of happy birthday! hehe! I love your family so much! Like everytime you walk into your house, you just smile because you know you're going to see Cole running around and your mom just laughing about the things he says. Jordan is just always.. I dont know... Shes just Jordan! lol. And Brittany is always working really hard in school for finals and everything else. You would be SOOOO proud of everyone. But yah, about your little brother Cole. lol. He says some of the funniest things ever. And like most of the time it's stuff you would say. Its kind of scary but cute/good all at the same time.
I forgot to tell you. Your mom had the revealing the other week. I think that was what it was called. And SOOOO many people showed up. Family, friends, teachers, and neighbors. It was hard for many of us to stand there, but everyone that should've been there... was there. Your mom did an AMAZING job on the stone.
Ty I miss you sooo much. I wish.. I don't know. I just wish some how this never happened. I love you and miss you. Keep looking over all of us.
whats to say ,no words ,just pain and devastation / Mommy (mom)Read >>
whats to say ,no words ,just pain and devastation / Mommy (mom) Tyler ,my cookie What words can possibly express the pain and devastation that has hit our family without your physical presence. Yes I Know how much good you are doing ,yes I know how you are and will continue to save so many lives ,yes I know that you will do more in your short physical life than most in 100 years and yes I know that you will live on forever and continue to save so many ,but it dosent take away the pain,the devastation. How each second is so difficult to make it through ,so many tears ,so many memories ,it is just too much for any one human being to bare. Every moment in the hospital flashes through my head ,every second of that initial phone call plays through my head, it is like a movie in slow play that just keeps going and going . How I tried to protect you . We found one of your old cell phones and read all the text messages that you wrote , all the messages that we wrote to you ,all I could think of is where is that child ,how unfair ,how horrific ,and for what ? Watching your sisters,uncle,aunt,grandparents and your dad so broken ,all week all we could do is look at each other and what can we say .How could I possibly make it okay ,the answer is I can not .This has all been out of my control. Waking up this morning for your brother and putting on the mask of normalcy was harder than anyone can imagine . There are just no words ,just pain devastation and heartache. I would give all our things to have you back -money is replaceable ,things are replaceable,objects are replaceable ,but you my son are never replaceable ..... Just so much hurt ,so much pain . So instead of spending a festive time,we have to go to a cemetary, go to a dock ,knowing that was the last place you walked,last place you were yourself,last place you smiled ,and trusted ,just unimaginable. I love you cookie and am so thankful for all those who protect us ,surround us with their love,support and strength ,without them we could not make it through each moment . Even strangers are touched by your story ,and what a story it is . I thank everyone for their love,those we know and those that keep us in their hearts.Those that we have never met but have taken you in their hearts and been touched by you .There are so many wonderful people out there with heart,soul and courage ,who understand what family is ,what is important in life . During this holiday season please know that all your love, kind words ,and support is really what keeps us going and I guess that is what the season is all about .we love you all . Tyler my cookie -I love you heart and soulClose
Tomorrow as you know is chriistmas day, a day we always used as a central day to observe when it was concurrent with Hanukuah and just a happy day of observance of faith.
It has been tough the last two years as all our faiths have been tested in trying to understand your untimely passing for what?
That is the test of faith trying to put some sanity to it all. Looking at the empty heart of your mother and father along with the look of why on your sisters face which make syour brothers questions that much more difficult. We all know that your death has save dlifes as parents have taken heed on the potential dangers of PWC. They have also learned that human life is sacred especially that of a child and that no one has the right to play G-d with that sacred parental role of protecting ones child even if it means their own.
Tomorrow I wont be able to give you another hockey stick or set of new gloves to play with,no Jet Jersey or young mans clothing. No more,No More instead you have legislation that when passed will provide education and practical experiance along with an increased age limit protecting children from the adults they trust. Sorry Tyler I am trying not to soil your site with anything but love but tomorrow it will be tough. Emotions will run high as they say that the second year is really the toughest,frankly they all suck.
Enjoy your holiday with your great grand parents,sister and the rest of the family. Aunt Grace and I along with Brett visited almost everyone while we were in NY last week,
As our faith proclaims out loud WE WILL NEVER FORGET.
I have never met Tyler, but somehow on the road I noticed a car with with the sticker on the window that said "in Loving Memory of Tyler" with the website. I believe it is the 2nd time I have seen it on the road and felt compelled to follow up. As a parent, as I read the website, and Tyler's story, it has truly touched me and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for his parents and entire family. He seemed to be a great child enjoying life. I want to wish his family my condolences and to remember that Tyler will contiue to affect all of your lives in a positive way forever.
tyler/ Grandma (grandma)
hi tyler; forgot to tell you i have so much to say to you,, but its a secret and this is not the place to tell secrets. i will talk to you tonite and tell you what has bee going on and what events are to come. secret... dont tell. have a good holiday with all our families and kiss rian for us. we sent her a birthday balloon yesterday. time does not heal.... it just slows up our emotions and tucks it away for private screaming and crying. we just take one step at a time. like the bunny, we keep on going. talk to you later. love you...xxxx Close