so what can I say / Mom (mommy)
Today is the day you always looked forward ti ,so many hopes ,dreams and always happy . Who would ever think 17 years ago when I gave birth to you , my first son, my love that you would have been put on this path . My heart is so broken ,I came home to watch your sister in tears ,something I rarely see and there was nothing I could say,there was no comforting ,what words could possibly make this right . I cant write any more it is too hard ,too heartbreaking . THEY say there is a reason for everything ,there is no reason for you to have to had suffered ,no reason for you to have lost your future ,no reason for your sisters and brother to suffer for the rest of their lives. Just no reason . There is just too much you were cheated of There is just too much that this family has been cheated of ,your smile ,your hugs ,your laughter and your love . How does one reason this out -I cant figure it out ,I stay up nights wondering how much hurt can one family endure ? As the mother how do I help heal the pain when I cant ,how do I protect the rest of yoU sisters and brother when i couldnt protect you. How do I find the strength that you had ,the only thing I Ccan do is fight to make sure no one endures what we do,that no one hs to suffer teh way you did . Enough for now,your tournament was a great success and you were embedded in soi many lives . So may new people were so touched by your story and could feel your love .Wwe nhaev just begun and I promise you this is just the start of your path -just the beginning .No one will forget ,andn all those who stand bu ys keep us standing and strong,and it is growing -it is called pay it forward ..... Close
Happy birthday baby / Jordan Goldberg (sister)Read >>
Happy birthday baby / Jordan Goldberg (sister)
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BABY BROTHER!! i love u so much and im getting ready to head to the cemetary now..i love u with all of my heart and each yr it hits me of how much ur missing out on and how 14yrs is not what u should have experienced but we csnt go bak in time..i love u babuu
Another day remembering you / Becca Z. (friend)Read >>
Another day remembering you / Becca Z. (friend)
Heyy Ty, hopefully when I write this I can hold back the tears.
This weekend we had the golf tournament and Ty it was amazing! Cole was soooo happy with all the hooter girls thinking he was adorable and hugging on him (hes sooo your brother lol). Your mom drove a golf cart and the first time she pressed the gas it like went fast and she was like whoaaaaa! lol. her face was like a priceless moment! lol. Zach was there a long with family members and friends and others who are supporting the foundation. It was soo good! And guess what Ty you wont believe it but... I GOT A SUNBURN! hehe. I actually tanned!
After everyone golfed we went in for the BBQ. Before we went in me and your grandma and jordan and a few others were talking about how we hope the BBQ isn't where your bar mitvfa was because it would be hard. But other people said they had many other rooms so we thought it wouldn't be in there. But sure enough it was. Once I walked in all the memories hit me all at once. (and of course here comes the tears) ugh. Ty it was sooo hard trying not to break down and cry. But once your mom took the sage and made her speech about how this was the room you had it in and everything else, I just finnally lost it and tears roled down my face. Ty it was sooo hard. But seeing everyone there showing their support was sooo amazing!
The whole time it was bright and sunny but it was going to rain and everyone knew it. Then once we started to leave, it finally started rainning. Everyone was saying how you held the rain until we left. I think it was symbolizing you being happy how well it turned out and your tears as the light raindrops falling down thanking everyone.
Well after that I slept at your house. Remember how we always tried to plan that! lol. how we always tried to get your sister to get me to sleep over so we can play tricks on you know who! hahaha! omgoshh good memories! But yah i went back to your house and slept over.
In the morning we all woke up and went to visit you at the cemetary. Cole passed out in his car seat so your mom took turns with me and jordan going to pray and see you. When it was my turn I didn't know if I pray or what the proper way was so I basically didn't care and if I prayed and it was the wrong way I knew you were up there laughing at me. lol ;D When we were there your mom bought wind mills and me and jordan put them by you. They kept going crazy and I knew right then and there that you were listening to us talking to you. I got the chills and just thought of everything. It was so hard but I tried so hard to be strong.
After everything else we went into the pool. Cole and him swimming like a fish. hehe. When Britt came in I got out to sit with your mom to talk. We were talking about so much. One thing she asked was doesn't Cole remind you of Tyler? and I started laughing and was like ohhhh yah! Ty he's your mini me. haha! Out of NO WHERE he yells out random stuff or yells out someones name he wants to talk to! Or he's in La La Land singing a song. Tyler he is soooo your brother! It's sooo scary how much you and him are a like. But one thing your mom said was how much you cared about cole and how she knew when you grew up how AMAZING of a husband and father you would be. Hands down she was right! I remember how you use to show off coles picture to everyone on your phone. You were inlove with cole and were so excited you got a baby brother. Your mom even said how you always tried to protect him and watch him and it was so true. You had big dreams for him and you. When you talked about cole your sparkle in your eye grew bigger and you talked about him like he was your own son and how proud you were of everything he did.
Tyler sometime I think about how life would be with you still here. And I know for a fact it would be better. You were always there for people no matter what. You would stop what ever you were doing to help anyone out. Even if the person back stabbed you, you would still be there for them. You let us pour our heart on you. And I try to explain to everyone that knows you how people say that there's no one like them when people pass away. But Tyler... Here or not... There will be NO ONE like you. One in a millioon cant even describe you Ty.
When we use to talk about everything I was sooo glad you were one of my close friends. Because we both talked about everything that was going on in our lifes. And no matter how hard people try to hide how hurt they still are, I know that they still hurt inside missing you. Tyler... I don't know what to say. I wish there was some way I could bring you back and atleast say bye before you left. It sucked not being there for you since I was far away!! It seriously kills me inside Tyler! Because when you needed me the most I wasn't there! And still to this day I blame myself. Everyone else was there but me. It's not fair I couldnt say bye and hold your hand and just be there for you like you were always there for me and everyone else. No matter how bad your condition was I would rather be by your side and show you that I would be there for you.
Tyler I love you so much! Just keep looking after all of us and help us grow stronger. I know you will help your mom out with everything in your power you can. Because no matter how hard you always tried to pull off the bad boy image... we all knew you were a momas boy and you were proud of it! :D You were sooo cute! hehe. I love you Tyler, soo much! I hope I stick to what I plan to do for you and when I come to visit you again.. you will be soo surprise and hopefully you and everyone else will love it. I love you Tyler.!
I didnt think the thank you's would be this hard / Mommy (mom)Read >>
I didnt think the thank you's would be this hard / Mommy (mom)
I never expected that My attempt to go down the line and take each day to thank so many for keeping my family and tyler in their hearts would be this painful,this difficult and not give the meaning that was intended .How to put emotions in words and have them express the true feeling just dosen't work . From the murphys who flew to the hospital from the 2nd I called-I dont know how they did that to the truskes who stayed by my side every step of the way and protected us every and anyway they could -made sure Tyler stayed a part of Gator Run for ever -coordinated our lives when I couldn't -and continues to love us and keep tyler in their hearts to the shapiros who made me laugh when no one could ever think I could and never missed a night with us -to lonny who embraced Tyler ,who gave him so much and more ,who embedded himself as a friend,an educator , a role model and one that Tyler truly idolized and loved-now this again the tears just flow when I think of how he would come home from 5th grade and sound like Lonny , How he would work harder than he ever had just to please him, how Tyler rose to the occasion just to not let lonny down .How Lonny gave him tough love when he needed it ,wow this is difficult ,thinking of the memories that he had shared with him, thinking of Tyler so happy,so motivated , yet felt so loved .Dana always there just for a hug . How Lonny worked like a dog to finish tylers room so that it would be what he wanted -how he sat at his bedside to give him strength , how they both sat at our house each and every day .How do you thank people like that ,not only gave in time of tragedy but gave before , during ,after and continues to always be at our beck and call . How do you thank people who just give with their hearts and ask nothing in return . To Lisa who had to walk in that hospital after loosing her own husband just months before ,the strength that it took , the love that must have commanded it , how she was there each and every night -took care of my family , Tyler must have known the heart that was there in Lisa ,he must have sensed as he always had the ability to do that she was truly an angel for us -Tyler making her dinner when I wouldn't -feeling her pain for her -how a 14 year old knew how to put a smile on someone's face ,not realizing that would be one of the people that would keep his own family strong .How Lisa and Ashley stayed with us so that we wouldn't be alone ,how she just with heart embraced our family and they became part of it and still to this day holds us up and continues to give from the heart and for no other reason .How do you thank that . How do you thank all those who came each and every night ,all the community for feeding the doctors ,nurses and our family and continues to embrace Tyler and all of us to this day -so many to mention but each and everyone of you are in our hearts ,imprinted there forever -the group hug -how many people can have that -the love -the strength that they all gave . How do you thank Meredith and Mindy for walking me through each day , for taking care of the things that needed to be taken care of on a daily basis ,for loving my family and me .Giving up so much of their own family time -and Jay for taking care of things that I couldn't For Lee ,Sonya ,Suzy,Julie for being at my beck and call when I couldn't bear being alone each night . For yvette,grandma , and the entire family at bagelmania for loving TYler , for keeping his name alive ,for keeping his word alive , for making sure we ate , making sure I was safe ,grandma running around the community looking for me to make sure I was okay -the nightly visits when they worked so hard each day ,but still made time to be here and in the hospital to make sure we were okay -and they continue to love and embrace this family -but most of all for making sure everyone knows who tyler is and what he sacrificed so that no one else ever has to endure this pain -how do you thank that . For Steve Mitchell to give us the gift of his foundation, to give his time ,money and love and ask nothing in return but to save others and to love tyler -To always have words of love -to protect the memory of Tylers voice forever How do you thank that . To all those parents who showed up at Jackson ,as doctors and joined his team,the hospital was truly in awe of who this child was and how special he must be .Dr Falcone ,Dr. Kohl, and of course Dr. Harris who was the angel sent to us along with his family and keeps his wings spread around us to this day .To take on the things he did from meeting TYler on the heliport ,to giving us updates on his treacherous surgery , to being at his side and ours every single day .To taking the utmost responsibility of caring for him during surgery and putting himself in that position. To staying with him to the very end of his physical travels -not leaving his side ever -How could anyone ever thank someone for that .It is just wordless . theres so much more,more than I can do at this moment and I will attempt to continue ,this is so difficult but so necessary -it shows that there are so many good ,loving people .I Love you all and will attempt to continue on ......Please knowif you have not been mentioned you are with us in our hearts and will be ,there is just so much I can do in one sitting .. Close
On March 16th,2007 the horror began .The very first phone call received after the one , an hour before when the message was clear and defined. AS I sat at my desk with ,you Adriana and we were working diligently on our teaching planning day , my cell phone rang,which was quite rare since it never has reception in that room, I looked at you and recall saying I have no idea who this is ,my stomach dropped as I picked up and heard ,get to the park, I'm sorry ,I;m sorry . I remember Adriana you dragging me down the halls leaving everything behind ,holding the phone ,screaming and barely able to hold my self up, you held me up the whole entire way ,as for some reason I just remember people on the sidelines . There was Lori pulling me in her car with you helping as I screamed I don't want to go . I guess I figured if I didn't go nothing would be real. As Lori you were on the phone ,I remember screaming at you telling you ,you werent telling me the truth , I remember, you Adriana holding me down in the van ,while I was insisting that you let me out,so that I didnt have to face what was to come . I remember calling my brother Jeff who thought once again I was being over reactive when it came to my kids,but yet did what I screamed -I think to do . The two of you Adriana and Lori wouldn't let me out of that car -you held onto me ,held me up and never let go from that moment on. I remember Sasse showing up and saying what can we do , I somehow found the strength to say get whoever we know and take care of my son-well you did ,you brought the angel Dr. Eric Harris to us . You protected me all throughout . Stood by me to this moment on - I have no idea how my poor Jordan showed up except that Robin was there ,so I can only assume -my poor daughter heard the screams throughout the halls as she was with me that day ,and all of you took care of her as she was your own . You all micromanaged whatever necessary from my baby to my children to protecting me from others ,I remember that and for that and more ,from that horrific day to today I thank you from what is left of my heart . As I write this I didn't realize how difficult it would be to ever try to express the thanks ,the love that I will forever have for you -it sounds in words so small,but in my heart it is embedded and bigger than life . That is just the first few moments of the times to come ,but they started with all of you .If within those moments I have forgotten someone please know that it will be remembered ,and it will always be in my heart . This is a difficult thing to do ,but for so long I have felt it was something owed and necessary -yet didnt realize that it would not make the impact that is felt . This is just the very start of the day -more to come ,once we left Broward.Close
so much time ,so much ,pain ,and why / Mom (momm)Read >>
so much time ,so much ,pain ,and why / Mom (momm)
well time has been going on and people continue to cry , to hurt ,to remember stories about you . Remember the incredible love and peace that you offered to all . They say time heals ,I have found that time accumulates more questions ,more explainations ,more unanswered questions and just more of so much not good .But then I look and think , that like an artist you through your physical self not being here have become bigger than life, have taught and continue to teach so many lessons . That the admiration for your fight ,strength and love for life and family just continues to be admired . Just the other day,I saw a parent of mine that had two critical loses in one month ,she turned to me and said that you were her strength ,that if you could fight as you did and we as a family can get up each morning and do what we do then she needed to do the same ,there my son ,goes that pay it forward. Though I do not believe in what goes around comes around ,I do believe that most human beings don't forget and have true goodness in their hearts . I cant help but think of your pain ,suffrage and how scared you must have been to begin with just getting on there ,knowing you were not that risk taker ,but I must put that side to do what must be done ,and cookie there is alot to be done and will be done . We have just begun and I promise you we are far from finished . I have decided that each week from this week forward I will write a thank you to someone who was part of loving you and supporting us You my cookie are our hero ,no man comes close to your heart ,bravery and love - Close
"it's not that i'm strong, i have no choice". / Brittany Goldberg (Sister)Read >>
"it's not that i'm strong, i have no choice". / Brittany Goldberg (Sister)
Tyler - -
Months have passed by that I haven't written, everytime I tried my computer blocked me from going on...maybe it's a sign, I was going to write something I shouldn't have...hmm. So, here I am, at 3:45 AM April 14th, 2009. Writing to you while I take a break from a paper, they never seem to end. Time is going by, and quickly - the days all seem to run together, but I seem to remember everything. For months I haven't been able to sit down and really think about things, I've become kind of, I don't know - closed off maybe? Try not to let things show that they get to me, and deal with it on my own. I show my feelings a different way than our family is used to, and I always did...I did it through writing. However, I haven't been able to write in months either. I'm tellin ya kiddo - you didn't miss out on grad school, that's for sure. A workload that would take a month you're expected to do in a day - okay, a week. I'm finally getting pretty orgainized at work, and I'm doing great in school - I guess No Pain, No Gain - pain=no sleep :( Oh, and I wore one of your jerseys the other night - the yellow practice one, and I've got your pines one over my computer in my room, so it's like you're there with me...pretty cool, huh? I decided that it's okay to do things like that...and kinda bring you 'back' so to speak...eventhough I swear you're in the car with me on my drives back from Boca. You'd be proud of me though, at least I'd like to think so. I think I'm doing alright with myself, considering the workload I've chosen to manage - I'm hanging in there. It's just crazy to think it's been 2 years...it's hard bro...but, life is always gunna be an emotional battle...as long as there is life there is death, and it's something we have to accept. I don't know why you were chosen - but I do know that you wouldn't have wanted to be someone who you aren't...that alone would have been the end of you, and it wouldn't have been a peaceful way to go. You know you're loved & idolized - and I definatley know you know I miss the hell out of you. But, I also know that this is the way it is. & For the rest of my life I could say that I was blessed to have spent the 14 years with you that I did. People who know me...I mean, really know me all tell me how strong I am for doing what I'm doing after what happened, and what I am going through. But, I don't believe it's strength. I believe it's the only option. If you didn't give up, why should I? You were stipped of ALL your dreams for living, ALL of your stuff was left 'unfinished' because you weren't able to complete it before your time. But you my brother - you had no choice. Like me, you had one option. Only one suitable option that would allow you to be you. & by allowing yourself to take that path brought everything together. You know now who you are, you know who you were in life. I don't even know who I am...You've accomplished what the wisest of men have not - and that is finding your true self.
remember those who were there / Uncle Jeff Read >>
remember those who were there / Uncle Jeff
This is a tribute to those medical professionals who fought along side you in your fight for life two years ago this month.
To the EMT team that saved you dockside after the accident
To the team at Broward general lead by Dr Puglisi that stabilized you and gave you a shot to get to Ryder Trauma
To the helicopter team that flew you safely to Ryder trauma and kept you safe
To the Ryder team that was ready to do the impossible and repair your injuries when the amazing Dr.Capt Matthew Brushetti who was doing his training befor eleaving for Iraq and took on your surgery.
To the incredible Ryder nurses who care dfor you as you one of their own.
To all the Doctors who took care of you in Ryder
To Dr's Kuluz and Gelman for their love and honesty in making each day bearable,To you you John Kuluz who have become our brother
To all the nurses,residents,fellows,aides,everyone associated with Jackson's peds ICU
To the entire Jackson Administration for your support
To our family spiritual leader Rabbi Kieffer for his support,love and helping us through those dark moments
Lastly to a man who shall along with his family be blessed forever for his loving deeds,that being Dr Eric Harris who stood by Lee and Tyler from start to the horrible end. It was Eric who came on his day off to be with the family on that horrible day.It was Eric who stayed with you Tyler as you waited for your final trip to your resting place. What an amazing man that he stayed through the night with you so you would never be alone and afraid. WE could never ever say thank you enough for what you did.
To the folks at the Menorah Gardens who were so understanding and amazing in helping handling this utter mess.Thanks
To all our friends, especially Lees friends from Gator run I dare not name names as I am sure I will miss someone ,you were incredible.
Lastly while many of you were gave up nights and family time to sit with Lee and comfort her well after it all ended Thanks.
To our frienda at baglemania,Chris Ivette,Momma thanks for the food and love.
Lisa what can one say to someone who suffered the pain of losing her own beloved husband months before becoming the sister Lee nnevr had and till this day being there for her.We love you as if you were blood and will never forget.
Finally to you Tyler for the couragous fight giving us time to deal with the inevitable and allowing your Aunt and I the privledge of being with you as you crossed while I sang.
To Greg who somehow held it togethe rfor your sake great to have you back.
I think I covered most of it and if I missed any I am sorry but we are now on the edge of having your legislation pass into law so help it through Tyler.
what can I say / Mom (mommy)
2 years and the nightmare continues. 2 years and the pain is still so great. 2 years and so many people cry for you. 2 years and the disbelief is still there . Yesterday we ran to the cemetery, took care of your stone,and as I explained to the lady in the office, who when she saw me started crying,that they needed to fix some things, and that was all I could do as your mother now. We went to home depot and bought everything we could to make it known how special you are. We went to the dock,threw the flowers in the water ,as I tried to visualize your last steps, your last smile, your last moment of being you as a whole,and just screamed... We went back to the cemetery and there were your friends ,all red eyed and in horror of what was.They had such pain to see me and had no words just hugs . Watching these grown children that you spent so much time with in tears ,telling stories ,and your uncle was amazed at some of the things they were talking about ,he always thought you were wordless and is always amazed at what he hears about you,though he always liked to bust your chops ,you just never let him phase you,though you did get the last word with him,didnt you. As I watched these grown young adults I was so touched to see them there and comforted to know that they have not forgotten you,I was also so hurt and reminded of how much you have lost ,they are driving ,talking about colleges,talking about girlfriends ,talking about hopes and dreams ,all taken away from you.The child who always had so many hopes and dreams ,which always included helping others. Your father couldnt take it ,he had to leave ,the pain was just too much for him, I guess I had to feel the pain from them ,yet embrace the love that they were there . The out pour of love from the community ,our friends and family was just as it was 2 years ago,no one had forgotten ,everyones heart is still broken. Thank goodness for the support and the love .Thank goodness for the arms that were wrapped around us ,thank goodness for all those who continue to stand behind us . Even some of the news reporters contacted me to let me know they remember.Dr Harris and his family had tears ,the cantor had tears . It is amazing the impact that you have on this community .Your lacrosse team wore your number-imagine that. I love you my son,and I thank all of those who continue to embrace Tylers love and keep him in your hearts. Close
You're One of a Kind / Kathleen (Family Friend )Read >>
You're One of a Kind / Kathleen (Family Friend )
I still can't believe that you were taken away from your family. I still can't understand how one person couldn't be responsible and keep you safe, especially knowing that your parents experienced the worst thing possible. I guess that so-called "person" really isn't human. Enough about that.
I'm sorry that you moved away so young. From the things that I read, you are so loved by everyone. You were a true gentleman. I would have enjoyed watching you and your sisters grow up. Your parents did an excellent job of raising you-all of you, and I know that Mom will do the same with Cole.
You may not be here physically, but spiritually, you are everywhere. Keep giving your family the strength to stay upright. They are truly amazing!
I went to see you today. I got there and saw Jordan, your mom, Zach, and your dad. I just went to hug Jordan and couldn't seem to let go. We all miss you so much. Your little brother was there too. He's adorable and he looks so much like you. Your mom asked him where you were and he pointed up to the sky, and then he pointed at his heart. That's exactly where you are and always will be. I was telling Jordan how I was looking through my note box the other day and I found your Thank You letter from your Bar Mitzvah. Inside joke that only we would get. Haha. You were such a joy to have around. I miss you. RIP
the mark of the 2nd year without you / Becca (friend)Read >>
the mark of the 2nd year without you / Becca (friend)
Today i could bairly wake up. My alarm kept going off and i just didnt budge. Its been two years today but it still feels like it was the other day. Today the lacross players are wearing their shirts with your number in the right hand corner. Its so hard ty. I miss you like crazy. People might say its been two years and blah blah blah, but see they didnt know you and they didnt know how big of an impact you had in peoples lives. If you were still here EVERYTHING would be different. Cole would have a big brother to look up to and everyone would be happier. Ty it stinks because ive never liked april fools but now i have a big reason not to. In the bus i tried soo hard not to cry thinking about you and if im going to go to the cemetary today or not. You were like my big... well little brother. I have our picture on my wall of when we all went bowling that one day. Gosh, you NEVER would let me take pictures of you. But i finally was able to when you said that i could only if i took a picture with you. I looked at the picture today and that little sparkle in your eye just broke me down. Tyler i love you so much and i know youre looking over your mom and everyone else. Ty you will always have an impact on peoples lives and that is something not many people could do. Last night i was up crying because i realized that the next day was coming. I was thinking about what i usually do when it comes to you. Why you? Who did you hurt? What did you do wrong? You didnt freakin know better! Like why you? You helped so many people! You didnt hurt anyone! You ALWAYS wanted us to get along. You always made me and everyone else include other people. You just wanted everyone to get along. I love you so much and i miss you!
Just got a call from your 6th grade teacher wanting to sign up for your first golf tournament.I was kind of stunned that somebody who taught you in 6th grade would be so moved to spend hard earned money to help your cause. I would have thought that you have gone through not noticed and unseen as you did most things but I guess I was wrong. You my nephew in death have transended what you could have done in life. Your legisdlation is making its way through the senate and house with bi partisian support along with support of two wonderful congressman along with our own Dan Stermer.
You are the true hero here as you have suffered so others may not. Unfortunately those left behind suffer without your physical being but know you are with us. Alot more pain to come but if you could do it we can also.
It was 1 pm on the nose I got the call from Mom that has changed the face of all who knew you and loved you. While 9/11 and Dec 7th hav emeanings far more reaching in the global picture, 3/16 at 1 Oclock changed all of us. We will never be the same. The frantic call to come to Broward General the phone calls to Grandma and Poppy, telling Aunt Grace that this wa sbad real bad and tehn calling your Uncle and telling him to come home.Its like a still picture in my mind yet it was 720 days ago.
Alot ha shappened since then , mostly pain but Brett did get married to a sweetheart of a girl that will now be the mothe rto our grandchild. You woul dhave fun with that ,me being a grandfather.
I really can't right much more just to say a minute doesn't go by where we don't think of you and smile and I gues sthats the true test of a person in how we remember them.
and so it began / Mom (mommy)
So as I sit here , I think tonight was the very last time you slept in your bed,shared stories with us , and gave us all your warmth ,love and smile . Tonight was the last night that you were you ,that you lived carefree . Tonight ,two years ago , I remember so vividly how you were late coming home ,or so I thought ,and I ran around the neighborhood like a lunatic worried that soemthing happened to you .I remember coming back and you were laughing in your bed ,that you were there the whole time ,how could I get upset with you ,you always had that way of just making it okay. Tomorrow was the beginning of the hell that we live in now. Tomorrow was the start of the last time you laughed,the last time you walked on your own ,the last time you were able to communicate with us ,and the start of your fight for life . And this was all for what ? For a moment of what ? I wish that I could find peace with it ,I wish there was a sound reason ,but all there is was ,lack of so much ....Now is not the time for me to get in to that ,all I know is my son is not here ,his future ,his life ,his hopes and dreams along with the entires family gem was stolen away .. And so we begin another day ,we fight to survive with some type of normalcy for another moment .. No doubt we will continue to rise to the occasion and try to be as strong as you ,but again what was this all for ?
So my son , again our hearts are crushed ,broken in half . we love you heart and soul and your courageous fight and sufferage will save so many Close
Mom was right on target in her words. You left us for all the wrong reasons. While we all have faith however battered in a greater being it becomes very difficult to try and two years later try and make any logical sense of it all . The truth be known what makes it so hard is it should have never ever happened.Thats why all the anger,thats why all the pain. Some sit back and say go on with your life, its bad luck or fate but we those WHO REally know that not to be true. Preventable deaths like yours make it harder and more difficult to deal with. I have heard some wonder why I am so touched after all I am just an Uncle. Well you and I know the reasons,we had a special relationship since the day you were born and I happened to be traveling and brought Mom flowers from a wedding I attended ,LOL.
Well here is the good news ,your legislation is moving forward and hopefully will pass. We will always remember who and what you were. A quiet self assured young man who avoided conflict and wanted nothing more than peace amongst all.
words are just not enough / Mom (mommy)
Tyler, I have attempted to write so many times but ,what can I say ,what can I write in words that would come close to the heartbreak,to the destruction , to the sadness that we all feel. I cant. Yesterday was 20 years that your sister left us , and as we have done each year for 20 ,sent up those balloons my heart was shattered of what was suppose to be . We all ,your sisters,you ,myself and your father would send up those balloons and our hearts were broken. I remember 2 years ago ,when we were outside sending those balloons up, you were late and I was so upset ,I told you that we were all we had and had to stick together always . Who would ever think that you would not be there with us to cry for your sister. Instead yesterday we all broke down and cried for both of you . How unimaginable to have lost two children, to have lost two siblings .How does one reason that. Knowing that there was that empty place yesterday ,that you were with her and not us ,was just too much to bear. And now so many things have just become too much to handle. Your sister ,though went peacefully , no reason ,but left us with perspective on what was truly important in life , and taught all of us so many lessons throughout our lives. You ,my children were always brought up to know what was important ,love,heart, family and friends,not things . You were taught that it only takes a second for one's life to change drastically and to value people and most of all your family. You did not go that way ,you had to endure so much and should never have left us . How do we come to terms with that. As the days go by and I play in my head the moment I recd the call ,the moments that came after and continue to ,there is still no reason. I love you both and just cannot write any more other than you will never ever be forgotten, as your sister will not .You both have lessons to teach others . You my son have left us shattered but also left us with so much love and heart. You left us with strength and no one is going to break us down -we will remain vertical and continue your strength and stamina . One day your life will be known to all and continue your path of love . Close
Just got back from our real home in NY where it was freezing and snowing, made realize how nice hurricanes can be.
Going to be almost two years when all our lives except for a few changed dramatically. My birthday this weekend no longer exists a sit is a reminder of your sister's passing and so close to the day of the "accident". Hard to believe but time marches on leaving a whole bunch of what if's. Well I refuse to entertain all the what if's.
You know what Tyler none of it matters, all that matters is the moment because as you proved that could end in a flash. Some are acts of God and some are acts of stupidity and insanity. We all know which is which. I guess I am in a moment odf anger because I see the results of the later. Payday is coming be sure of that,payday is coming. Well got to go be well .
just wanted to let you know, i've been thinking about you a lot latley. just a lot of stuff going on over here, and as much as my head has been filled with a whole bunch of "stuff", i've been thinking about you. i don't really know whats going on - the past few weeks have been such a blur...but, i know you're looking over me, because i feel your presence everyday. i think about everything...even the stuff i don't want to remember crosses my mind every so often. i think about how much my life has changed since everything happened, how much different i have become...i dream about the "could have been(s)" and the "should have(s)", but live in "what is". i can't begin to tell you how many times i want to pretend nothing ever happened, and walk into your room and see your smile and your bright eyes. but, it's just not the case. i don't think people realize the impact that this has had on me, and how much of a toll has been brought upon me. there are times i feel like it's forgotten that you have a sister, but you never forgot about me. just like i will never forget about you.
i think about the future, not as much as i used to, but i still think about it. i know i shouldn't turn every happy moment to sadness - but, how could an occasion be happy without you...
i know one day i'll grow up...and i struggle with that concept everyday. i feel like i've grown up, more so than i would have pictured if you had asked me years ago. but now, on the road to a masters degree, and eventually an employee of government. a twenty-two year old who will one day hopefully get married, have kids...i'm just sorry you won't be there to hear them call you "uncle ty". i get upset when i think about the future, because, you won't be there for any of it...and you will never get to experiance any of it for yourself. someone who embraced life for all that it was worth, left it, after almost 15 years. what's the fairness in that??