13 years , just like a moment ago / Mom Rosen- (mom)
It's 13 years, how did 13 years go by and I am still here? How did 13 years go by without your physical presence, without holding those long fingers. 13 years without that warm and loving hug, that smirk or just your calmness that brought so much peace around anyone human , even animals (not monsters or the devil) that you touched.
I miss you more each and every moment. The only way there is to take a step each day is just make-believe you are there somewhere. I'm not so sure it is even making believe because it has been proven you are here with us
It is so hard now for people to conceive how much of a presence you had here during your carefree life and the moment of destruction of our lives that has been caused
You, my son, are the strongest, kindest soul I know...
Maybe people do not talk about you anymore, maybe others just think ok, enough , it was 13 years ago. Let them walk in our shoes for a blink of an eye. That would be more than enough pain, tears, anger that anyone could endure. They have no idea the trama, the pain, the destruction that today's decision and demand by one other have caused so many.
There is no forgiveness when there is no remorse or accountability. I am not going to give them another moment of mention, just as that monster who destroyed our friends, neighbors 17 children in Parkland did. Their name should never be mentioned again in any type o humanity . So enough with that.
I want the world to never forget you my son is the hero, the unselfish , the strongest and most loving person I have encountered. No one can take that from you . You fought a fight that was unwinnable, you came back to let me know that everything I think and thought was 100 percent true. You may not be discussed by others but you will always be here with us in every decision, action, event, and activity in our lives.
I promise you my son , you will never be forgotten !!!
13 years and your essence of love, heart, strength, and softness continues to drive your family each and every moment.
This morning is when I was called when they dragged me down a hallway when the destruction began !!
I love you my son and your fight for life will be told always to others. Close
THANK YOU / LEE ROSEN (MOM)
Tyler you finally did it and you did it your way at John Edwards. All those times I went and just prayed you would come through , knowing you probably wouldn't .
I thought at least grandma would , that was our deal , but maybe this was the way it had to be .
Your wisdom , incite , compassion and love overwhelmed the room . I have been there 5 times and have never seen so many tears flow through . Your message to me was not what I had ever expected or was looking for but it couldn't have been more perfect to prove that it was you .
Your concern for me just breaks my heart because I always say what a love you are and how caring you are . Your outright message to me came in loud and clear but it is so hard . You validated everything we always knew, but in your loving way . No graphics just the specific words and thoughts that made the point . You do know that you are asking for a lot from me and I will try but the pain is unbearable as you kno w.
The roller coaster and the battles as you put it , i will continue as you asked , I will do everything in my power and heart , with knowing you ar ether helping along .
Your language was so appropriate for you and how you expressed your feelings to validate what we all know already was ingenious and gentle , as you always were.
Selfless , you never spoke about your being ok there , your being at peace , because I know you are not and won't ne until there is peace here and within me .
Today being my birthday is a difficult task , trying to be happy for everyone especially your brother is not easy . You having grandma there is a gift for you and your sister and i know she is free now and no longer trapped in a body she could not stand . But I miss her strength and her shoulder to lean on , I miss bneing a little girl . Poppy is being strong and trying his hardest and maybe thats why you reach rout to him , we all know he is an incredible man and you my son are an incredible human being .
I will write later but the tears are too much to handle right now . by the way I do enjoy how you mess with your uncle and know how to get in his heart right on the spot. Playing that song in the diner was just another one of your ,'uncle Jeff, Im stronger than you thought . I never knew that was the song .
I am thankful you were there for who needed you , but my sweet boy I hope you feel the love and the warmth that we all feel for you here and that your sister is ok , i feel so guilty that she may think she is not the focus but i miss her every minute of the day . I know grandma is keeping you all wrapped up and loved .
Tyler you are more than words .
Later my baby xxi Close
easier no harder , how one lives without you / Mom (mom)Read >>
easier no harder , how one lives without you / Mom (mom)
I was not planning on saying anything tonight but I am so angry hurt broken and sad
Tonight was the last night that my -14 year old son Tyler Scott Goldberg slept in his bed not realizing what he had ahead of him
The pain the terror the fear and the fight of his life
Time has not made it easier or better it is just more time that I live with the pain , the what ifs and the truth that most do not know yet of what happened
Knowing it was my last night having my son save in his bed is horrifying
What was normal was no longer a few hours away
He was so excited for spring break for what was to come to him in his future
His love for his family and friends
For those of you that are easy on giving me advice of to move on
I ask you look at your child in their eyes and ask yourself what if that was the last time they were on their own bed at peace
What if that was the lAst time you could kiss them
Lsugh with them and hold them in your eyes
Could you give that same advice then
There are so many of you out there that feel my pain and know it doesn't get easier or better
Tomorrow starts the hell of the phone call screaming down the corridor in school not knowing what to expect
In sorry to sound so blunt and angry but I am my son Tyler had his last night of peace tonight
His last night of hopes and dreams and our , my family the last night of being somewhat whole
So I say go in your children's room kiss them hug them
Take the time to stare at their beautiful innocent faces
Because tomorrow is another day and it is not promised to be as today was
Thank you for letting me vent
I love you my special Tyler
Please go on his website light s candle , tell a memory of him , and never forget Close
So Sad / Donna Fontane (none)
I was driving behind a car getting on the Sawgrass from Commercial and noticed the Tribute. You see many of these unfortunately but when I saw the years I was crushed. Such a short life and so many things that weren't said or done. I am deeply sorry for the family and friends that were affected by this horrific accident. It is nice to see that you are celebrating the life that he did have and the memories will never be forgotten.
not easier / Mom (mom)
ee Rosen-Nossen shared Jeffrey Rosen's post.
5 hrs ·
All true but what is missing is the tears the incredible fight that I never knew Tyler had in him
This boy at 14 was proving the world wrong
From the start we at Broward General we were told to say goodby
During the surgery that first night the night of March 16 i was told that no one should have been able to put a tube in his throat , but they did
During the survey I was told that there is no way he will make it through
There was one man only who was my angel , Tyler's angel , Eric Harris who came down from surgery to give me updates
Each and every step of the way . No one has that
I knew each and every thing was happening and never did Eric say he wasn't going to
Each time he reassured me that Tyler was still fighting that each thing they attempted was successfull
Dr Eric Harris never gave up On Tyler .
Tyler made it through the surgery . No one except dr Eric Harris thought he would
After the time of moving Tyler into dr john kuluz hands I knew he loves my Tyler
I knew this man believed in him
There were few words between us no need just eyes
I would tell him look at me tell me and he did
The day Jeff refers to when I heard noises from my beautiful boy , I will never forget dr john John Kuluz was way across the Icu unit , he looked at me and ran over , no words needed . John immediately recognized there was a problem , something they feared there was a hole in his esophagus
That is when they immediately rushed Tyler to surgery again
As we waited and was told the worse . I will never forget dr john kuluz and dr Eric Harris holding up Tyler's bed to roll
Him back to the room since it collapsed
All we could do as we watched in shock at these two prestigious doctors carrying a hospital bed , stopping for a moment to give us a thumbs up and then went on their was is to laugh at shock, happiness and appreciation
Jeffrey Rosen missed that part . There is so much just in the two and half weeks at the hospital would be a story to be told and written of friendship , family , heroism , horror and lies .
What most do not know is Tyler knew what happened to him , Tyler knew where he was . With all his injuries that even I don't to this day know of ,Tyler was a fighting machine the kid who hated confrontation was fighting the most important fight , the fight for his life .
That beautiful 14 yeAr old boy had his own dr house (dr John kuluz ) he had his own motivator and god sent dr Eric Harris . He even had Drs joining the team as each day went voluntarily,and not just Drs but the top, the best like dr Steven Falcone and others
Tyler became the "miracle boy" I always knew he was a miracle but now they did
As I share this portion or should I say add to this portion you all see the story is the same because it is not a fictional story it is history it is the truth
As each year goes the pain increases because the memories become more clear
Lonny Shapiro and Dana shapiro sat by my side with the others mentioned each and every day and night
Lonny was my angel of laughter , he knew how to make me get strength to deal with the next moment
So you see my friends Tyler was as alert as they allowed him to be . We had music going for him , singing if you want to call it that , talks , stories , even had Tyler and the doctors listening to Tyler's voice as my ringtone so everyone would not just see him but hear him and feel him
This boy wanted life he wanted a future that's what his fight was for for family
Third installment of my Tyler memories of those 14 days in March that changed our world.com. If you are bored or have no interest its ok just move on. Many if you have been very warm in allowing me the time to talk about it.
I left off with Tyler coming out of surgery and somehow surviving. The army medical team were amazing and Tyler showed us strength we never knew he had. He stayed in Ryder trauma for what seemed like months but was a few days. While there he had setback as one of the repairs opened. Who found it but lee while staying with him heard a noise like a hissing , it was the air escaping. Tyler had multiple injuries with the most life threatening at the time was the explosion of his trachea and esophagus upon impact with the dock and his pwc.
They rushed him back to surgery and repaired it .
The next move was moving him to peds icu and out encounter with a Notre Dame undergraduate and Um trained trauma doc, Dr John Kuluz. The antithesis of our new york family. He took to lee and they always locked eyes for her to get some sense of reassurance. About 11 pm they decided to move him across the hospital. Dr John walked the path three times making sure if anything happened he could have life saving access. He checked for bumps or hard turns out was amazing. Wayne, Lee, Grace , Lisa and I watched and walked it with him.
We got him there and set up camp amongst the other critically I'll kids in a cubicle.
The next day it looked like a jets, rangers,fsu lockeroom . The Rangers sent me signed picks and a lundquist signed stick. Bobby Bowden sent a signed picture.The Miami folks were not happy. We brought food up for the doctors supplied by bagelmania . People brought everything Lee would need as she sat with him day after day surrounded by friends and family.
April 1st next and last installment Close
I'm so sorry for your lost / Ivan (None)
Mrs Lee, my name is Ivan I just happen to be behind a car this morning and I saw the tribute to your beloved son, rigth away I feel sad, because I knew this was someone's child and someone's brother, when I got home I decide to google his name to see who he was, for what I read on all the tributes that are post it, he was an amazing kid, very athletic and like him I love and played hockey, as a father of a boy myself I am so sorry for your family lost, no person will never understand the pain that someone goes through when you loose a child, It's been a year and a half since I lost my father in law an my wife lost her dad and best friend, to me this man was my dad and I say that because my father die when I was five years old and the relationship that we had was great, we miss him dearly, but I would like to share something that has help us when we go through something like your going through, and that is the hope that I have, of seen him and all my other relative and friends that have pass again.
I lot of people ask themselves, if god is love why does he allows suffering? I ask myself the same question before, even a profhet name Habakkuk ask Jehovah god the same question on Habakkuk 1:3. Many people are told that God works in mysterious ways or that he brings death to good people, but then I read in Job 34:10 that God never causes what is bad, so why and where does bad things come front? Three things,
First,please read 1John 5:19 and Revelation 12:9 that shows who is behind everything bad on earth, Second, please read Ecclesiastes 8:9 that says that humans tend to struggle for dominance, and this results in war, oppression, and suffering. Third reason, please read Ecclesiastes 9:11 "time and unforeseen occurrence" this can happen to anybody by been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Clearly we see that God does not has a hand on this bad things that happen to all of us, to some worst that others, 1 John 4:8 says that God is love, so what hope do we have?
This next bible text is very popular Revelation 21:4 wich says that Gos will take care of all the pain, including death, 1 Corinthians 15:26 the bible teaches that death will be brought to nothing, Isaiah 26:9 says that the dead ones will be brought back to life, and that is good news to me, but, how do I now that this will happen, because it happen before, when Jesus was on earth he lost some dear to him, please read the account of Lazarus on the book of John chapter 11:1-44, Jesus felt the pain of other as is shown on verse 35 and Jesus, who perfectly reflected his Father, knows the pain of losing someone in death John 14:9 says: He that has seen me has seen the Father also.
So, I have that hope and I fell compele to share it with you because that's what 2Corinthians 1:3,4 says we need to do.
I'm one of Jehovah's Witness, and if you ever have any questions, next time one of Jehovah's Witness knock on your door fell free to ask or for more answers go to JW.org Close
They say time heals -who are they / Mom (mommy) It has been so long since I wrote on here for so many reasons. Never because I dont think of my beautiful, sweet , funny , kind and loving Tyler. As time goes the pain digs deeper , if that is possible. With each day people continue to move on , growing tired of "the Tyler Story",What they are missing in all of this is , it is not a story , there are no fictional charactors , settings or events , it is all true . One day this piece of history can unfortunately be theirs. Maybe it should be called the "unfortunate story" or "the history that never should have been , or a human demolition. I'm not sure which or if all these titles could capture the snapshots of each moment from March 16 2007 to today . The snapshots are vivid , they are explosive of emotion, horrific pain and so many elements that should never have been . I often wonder what life would be like if this piece of history , this dash of time was erased . Who would we all be , when I say , "we" I mean your family . How different would our paths be , how different would this moment of time be . I do know for sure that we , your family would never have imagined living a second without you . Never even fathomed that we could live with the pain you endured , the suffering the sadness , and ultimately the greatest decision in ones life time , the time to say goodbye . As I look at each of us in our house , your house , I wonder how each one of us would be as a whole person and not so utterly broken, There have been times that I have felt your presence , I finally had seen you in dreams , I wish that I could say this was a comfort but I as your mom know how much you wanted to live , how much you looked forward to your future and how much you loved us all . I think in reflection that is the hardest part that I can not let go of , your love and life and the unfairness to you . Preventable absolutely, and that is why as people stroll through our lives and think , oh no not the tyler story , the tyler story is what has shaped this community and left imprints on all of us . From the moment that I left you the morning of March 16 2007 to today I could state each snapshot, each person who joined our venture to help you fight the war you attempted . It was not your failure that yu could not win , it was not the failure of the drs , the pilots , the emt's , the nurses , truly it was only in your hands my son and you did everything you could to be with us today .But as you were while you walked down a street ,strong , aware and unselfish , you were as you laid in the horrific hospital bed ,with the tears dripping slowly down your face you were unselfish. I know in my heart you did not want to be any one other than who you were and you knew what we did not want to accept . What you knew I cant imagine the depth of it , but i know you knew . I know how much you love us . I know that you were and are a gift that I appreciated each and every day . You made us laugh , smile and somehow feel at peace . What you could do in life my son , you can not do from there and that is give us peace . but your love was so strong that I know in my heart I could not do anything other than continue to love and take care of children . My venture is to keep them safe , happy and content so that they can have what you fought so hard to have and that is a future . So for all those tire of the tyler story , we must nevr forget the history that created the tyler story , so that there are no other stories like it . No more pain for others .. These days are hard ,people celebrating college graduation ,that should be you . Celebrating their future that should be you . Most important celebrating their life and that should be you too .. Mothers day, graduation ,celebrations and now your birthday coming ,,ugh this is why the tyler scott story must continue ....Moms , sisters, brothers , uncles , aunts, cousins , friends should be able to hand the balloons to those celebrating not sending it up in the air , Though this is scattered it was time to be written, More soon xxo.Close
Special Boy-Special Family / Kathleen Renick Read >>
Special Boy-Special Family / Kathleen Renick
Tyler, your mom is amazing and I still can't believe that you are not here with her, your dad, your sisters, your brother and your family. It doesn't seem real, yet it is. When I speak to your mom my heart breaks even though we can laugh at things. I know her heart is truly broken and I feel so helpless because there is nothing I can do to help except to listen. Then the anger sets in because your death did not have to happen. God didn't decide it was "your time", someone else did because that person couldn't be a responsible adult and respect your mother's wishes. Now an entire family suffers each day because of this. I believe that your spirit lives on in them everyday. Maybe there are signs, maybe it's a song, maybe it's something Cole says or does. Whatever it is, I'm sure they feel your presence around them. I am thankful that they have wonderful memories to keep in their hearts forever. No one can ever take that away from them. Close
You always seem to get through to me. / Becca Z. Read >>
You always seem to get through to me. / Becca Z.
Yesterday I was at my second job working at Sprint. Let me just tell you about my day.
I woke up to the fire alarms in the apartment building going off. I rushed to work so I wouldn't be late. I showed up to work and a company came in called Scott Goldberg. When I saw the account name my heart just stopped. Then this nice funny lady came in to work that reminded me of your mom. I told her that she reminded me of my bestfriend's mom. The lady lived in Weston so I asked her if she had children and what elementary school they went to. They go/went to Manatee Bay. And I was like then forget it she probably doesn't know your mom. I showed her a picture of Lee on the main website and she gasped and looked at me and told me how she (your mom) had a horrible story that happened to her. She didn't even look at the website, she only looked at the picture of your mom and Jeff and right away she said that to me. She then told me how she met your mom at Bagelmania one day. She told me how she just went up to your mom and apologized and said how she knows that she doesn't know your mom but she told Lee how she just wanted to give her a hug because she looked so upset. Then at work we usually have pandora on. So we had pandora on yesterday and "Live Like You Were Dying" came on and "Who You'd Be Today" came on.
I'm not going to lie but a lot has been going on in my life and it didn't cross my mind that yesterday was the anniversary of your crash. I got back to the apartment and sat down to finally relax, and I looked at the date and realized what happened that horrible day. I don't know how all this stuff happened to me yesterday and I didn't even remember it was the day. I've just been so busy and stressed out with everything I just didn't remember until I actually got home and could relax and then it hit me. How on the day of your accident could all these crazy things happen to me? How did I get so many signs and have all of these things that happened to me? The only thing I could think of was that it was you. You were giving me those signs. Telling me you're still here looking over me. Telling me I could do all of the things I'm struggling to do. Telling me you still believe in me and that I need to think positive in life and not negative like you always told me. Telling me not to give up and to always have that smile on my face. Telling me to never change and to be the person I want to be. Telling me you love me and that you'll always be here looking over me no matter what. I love you Tyler and thank you for yesterday. Thank you for coming through to me and making me smile and actually changing my look on life and making it positive. I love you so much Tyler and I miss you so much. I wish there were words I could use to make you know how much I mean that. I love you Ty and I can't wait until I get to hear from you again and get these signs. xo.
5 years time does not heal / Mom (Mommy)
So 5 years and people say time heals. Heals what, not having your smile, laughter, hopes and dreams. No my son time does not heal it just goes on second by second. The pain doesn't stop, the destruction continues. The fight you fought continues. To watch your brother and sisters hurt each day , your grandparents destroyed, your uncles,aunts, cousins never to be the same. Time cannot heal that. Each moment is a fight to go on, each moment is another that you are not here with us to spread your warmth,peacefulness and just extreme joy. Each moment is another that was taken away. To think that time heals is a way of making others feel better but there is no healing there is just .
Thank goodness for the people that surround us, that conti je to remember and fight with us. Thank goodness for the children who touch my life and show the innocence of kindness and love. They are what makes time bearable.
Time does not heal 5 years later and it is horrific,I remember each and every disgusting moment. Now I can see the pain you were going through,how scared youmustbhave been, and I as your mother could not do a thing but to rub your beautiful face, your hold your long fingers and just love you as I do today. To only hear your voice. To only... Close
And so the devastation continues / Mom (mommy)Read >>
And so the devastation continues / Mom (mommy) We are coming close to the day that you walked for the last time,smiled for the last time , held us for the last time ,so many last times. Who would have ever thought that such a beautiful boy with the world at his feet would be destroyed by one second . There are so many many horrific parts of your story . It is like a demolition truck just whisked by and destroyed everything and everyone in its way. As time goes by people think it gets better ,there is no such thing as better .The only better there could be is if you were here. As time goes by it gets harder and harder . So many things that you should have been part of physically. I watch your friends turn from boys to men ,but I can only attempt to visualize you -that hurts. I watch your brother run to be close to older boys ,when I know that he has an emptiness that can never be filled and that is with you . I watch your sisters destroyed and attempting to be strong for me ,there is no hiding that .Your grandparents that have been totally destroyed ,but wont express it to me ,so that they think they are protecting me when it is written all over them .Your uncles ,aunts,cousins tear up every time they talk about my beautiful son Tyler . So many people , so many lives destroyed . Each time I attempt t make it right for others I get blocked and have to fight harder . There are visions that flash before me of the day I received that devastating phone call.walking into the hospital , watching your helicopter go ,waiting in ryder , and then in jackson. Those flashes are too much for anyone to take ,I attempt to push them away because they are too much ,but then I think you had to live them each second ,you layed there frightened ,and could not speak a word. I promised you as long as you held on, fought, listened to the doctors, we would bring you home,that was a promise I could not deliver.A mother is suppose to protect their child ,fix their problems, block them from pain and I could do nothing .I could only hold your hand ,kiss your forehead ,and talk to you .I could do nothing else,powerless to protect my baby. As time goes by I watch the entire community still hurt for you ,but hope that time heals .It dosent heal it hurts for what should and shouldnt be . I truly can say that we have met the most wonderful people ,the most loving people but the ones that are bad remain bad.You my son always knew the bad. It is so hard to write on here knowing that I can not say what I want to ,I can not do what I want to ,once again powerless. The only thing I can do is keep fighting as you did .Love as you do and be the best person I can be as you did .And I know one day your story will be told . Close
Your 5th Annual Run -never should have been / Mommy (mom)Read >>
Your 5th Annual Run -never should have been / Mommy (mom)
Another year crying out to the public to make sure that someone as beautiful as my dear son is not destroyed .Though no one can destroy you, you are too big for that to happen. Your impact here is too strong for any one to have the capability to destroy what you have embedded in so many. That is another lesson to be taught by your inner kindness and abiity to touch so many people while you were able to walk here and even after . There have been so many days that I could not stand up to continue to fight this fight,probably more days than not. When I think of the fight you fought ,the determination to live ,I continue . We are so blessed to have such wonderful people continue to do what is right because of what you. It is such a horrendous life to live without my precious son, no other family should have to do that .No other person should ever have to endure the pain,the fight ,that you did from the second you stepped on that dock. I will continue to make it right and after me there will be so many that will pick up and fight so that no one ever has to be taken away for such a horrific reason in all aspects as you . They say time heals ,I know better ,been there before with Rian.Time has not healed ,time has made me more determined ,more angry wit so many components,and more heartbroken of what should have been . Close
IT IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER / MOMMY (MOM)Read >>
IT IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER / MOMMY (MOM)
Well it has been a very long time since I have written . Seems to be getting more difficult to accept the fact that my sweet warm loving son is not going to walk in and give me a hug or make me laugh or just look at made and everything seems okay . It is amazing the impact that you have made on so many nothing though close to the impact of thinking about what you had to endure .i am so sorry I couldn't fix it as a mother should/ I couldn't make it better . If I could have changed places with you I would have in an instance. I can't get it out of my head how such a beautiful human being could endure so much horror and pain . No one can imagine how heroic you were and continue to be . No one could fathom the strength that you had for your love of family and life kept you holding on though you were in so much pain and must have been so utterly scared . Only those with heart could attempt to understand to a very small degree.' Our family will never be intact again . We have gone on with the motions but never will be able to walk down the same path we were on . How can one not say this is so wrong . What people see on the outside is so out of the realm of how broken we truly are .It is a struggle to attempt to move on but it is a struggle that I must do for your brother and sisters. They deserve to live a happy life so much has been taken away from them already . It is like a demolition truck has torn down who we were and are . So now we I have to help them rebuild a life differently so that they continue to have a future -you fought hard enough to have onebut lost that battle they must fight for theirs . There is not a day that goes by that we don't talk about you that your brother dosen't discuss you with someone . The other day is hockey coach told him he was a natural and he proudly looked up at him and said I get it from my brother . Somehow you are embedded in him. I know it was all the love you put in to him before you were taken away physically from us . Never though from our hearts . Thank goodness for all of the love and support that we still continue to get . It is amazing that your love for life has affected so many .Even at the rink they now are going to put your jersey up to be overhead all the games.Next to Rob's the coach you admired the most . Who would ever think both of you would go . yOUR Friends continue to be there for us . Unbelievable -such love . They have no idea that this all means so much to us and is what helps us get through another day . So much as been taken from you we will continue to fight as you did to ensure that no one else needs to suffer needs to feel the pain as we do . I love you my son -my heart my soul my cookie Close
9/23/2011 <3 / Becca Z.
So where should I start with this letter. Hmmm. Well I miss you like crazy but that's obvioulsy nothing new. Lol. I moved into my first apartment last week and I'm now unnpacking everything. I never thought I had so much junk in my life until now. Lol. I unpacked one box and saw that rectangular book that Gator Run gave us in 5th grade to get all of our friends to sign. It says the Gator Run song and there's like fill in the blanks (like My best memories were...) I looked in the back and saw where you signed it. I couldn't help but smile because I remember how you were a pain in the butt and signed "Tyler G" in BROWN when my book was in all pretty colors. But out of every color you had to pick brown. loll. I miss you. Gesss! hehe.
Last night I was laying in bed looking up at the ceiling and I just kept thinking about you and I felt like I was talking to you. It kind of freaked me out afterwards but I knew I had to be talking to at least somebody else. But I have a feeling I was talking to you. :]
My boyfriend has these two bears that are all dressed up in JETS clothes.. I wanted to put them on your stone but I'm too scared somebody would take them or they would blow away and would even get dirty. So Britt said I could just give them to her and she will put them in your room. :] That was a GREEEAT idea. hehe.
I miss you so much Tyler. I plan on visiting you soon but somehow I always have so much stuff to do. Blahh. But I promise next time I will bring you flowers or something really cheesey. :p hehe. I miss you Tyler so much and I know you're looking down on us and making sure we're all okay.
I know you're up there... / Jana (Friend)
I miss you so much. You always had a way to make everyone laugh. I could really use that right now.
See my dog died of cancer about a month ago. It still brings me to tears just to think about it. No one was able to be there for me because no one was anywhere near where I was. I needed someone to hold me to be my shoulder to make me laugh to keep my spirits up. I wouldn't be struggling with this as much if there was someone there. You coulda been that someone even though we weren't the closest you would've known something was wrong. You wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to talk about it you would've just cheered me up. I wish you were still here to do that.
I know she's up there with you please take good care of her. <3 Close
Remember when we saw Van Helsing at Weston 8. Remember when you finally made "the move". Remember when you and Jared ding dong ditched MY own house at my 4th grade end of the year party in the rain. loll. Remember almost every weekend coming over my house for movie nights. Remember loving my mom's cookies/cooking and always telling her you're going to eat it all. Remember for my birthday/Christmas you got me a huge bath basket (since I looooved taking baths loll) and the John Deere locker. Remember always meeting up after classes or before school started. Remember us always being "ganstas". loll. Remember you always rescuing me when I had no where to go. hahahaha. Remember when I sat on the base thing of your basketball hoop and there was water in it and it got all over me. loll. Remember when you ALWAYS tried to get me to like Rambo. loll. Remember when you rollerskated all the way to Regionals just to watch me play a soccer game. Remember when your mom found out after and almost kicked your butt and my mom wouldn't let rollerblade all the way back home so we took you home. loll. Remember when you tired to teach me how to skateboard. lmao!! Remember when I went to your ice hockey game and you were playing against Evan. Remember when you left your phone at Amy's house and Amy and I were trying to figure out where the camera was for 20 minutes and finally figured out it was one you can twist to the front and to the back.. And we took funny pictures for you. loll. Remember when you LOST your phone on Dueling Dragons. loll. Remember when we had the Dippin Dots fight after in the kiddy place in Seuss Land. loll. Remember the night at your dad's house where we were all running around on the golf course and Vicky ran into the lake. LMFAOOOO!!! That was sooo bad. hahaha. Remember when you were always there to make me smile. But most of all remember when you were be my best friend and were ALWAYS there for me when I needed you the most. I miss you Ty. I love you. <3
Today be the day. (not messed up loll.) / Becca Z. (friend)Read >>
Today be the day. (not messed up loll.) / Becca Z. (friend)
Google Chrome messes up what I write. So here it is:
Please come through today. They say everything happens for a reason. Meibe there is a reason why my mom needed to go to the lake house to fix things. Meibe there's a reason why I got her ticket. Meibe this is a sign for me to go. Meibe today is the day I finally get closure with you. Meibe it's the day that I can finally apologize for not being there for you the one time you needed me the most. I hope you come through today. I'm doing everything I can think of for you to come through today. I love you so much Tyler. I miss you too!!! Please come through today for me and for your mom. We both really just want to hear from you at least one more time. Today has to be the day. It just has to. <3 Love you Ty. xo.
Today be the day. / Becca Z. (friend)
Please come through today. They say everything happens for a reason. Meibe there is a reason why my mom needed to go to the lake house to fix things. Meibe there's a reason why I got her ticket. Meibe this is a sign for me to go. Meibe today is the day I finally get closure with you. Meibe it's the day that I can finally apologize for not being there for you the one time you needed me the most. I hope you come through today. I'm doing everything I can think of for you to come through today. I love you so much Tyler. I miss you too!!! Please come through today for me and your mom. We both really just want to hear from you at least one more time. Today has to be the day. It just has to. <3 Love you Ty. xo. Close
such pain -should be a happy time not one of sadne / Mom (mom)Read >>
such pain -should be a happy time not one of sadne / Mom (mom)
it would have been 19 years of celebration candles laughter and excitement. Instead it has been 4 years of constant pain anger confusion and utmost suffering. To not be able to hear your sons laughter feel his hugs and love around you . Watch him grow as the others have knowing there was so much ahead. This was not an act of god this was an act that was avoidable on many aspects . An act that should never have been . From the start al lthe dynamics were wrong from being placed in such a horrific situation to unable to save oneself. From the start there was fear doubt and just no rhyme or reason.How does one come to terms with an act that never should have been but that cost so much pain and destruction to so many . As I have attempted so many times to write the pain and frustration has been to great and continues to be. As time goes on the truth gets more horrifying than any one could ever imagine . The lack of remorse the lack of responsibilty is such an integral part of the pain.Knowing that there were so many elements that should and could have been to prevent the suffering that Tyler endured the pain and destruction that my family has and continue to live. Th suffering that friends neighbors and community have felt . As time goes on I recoginize it is not only our family that has changed that has been damaged but so many other lives. So many young people live with out closure of their loss of Tyler . Though this is so utterly painful and difficult each day to bare I ralize that so many people love Tyler and have kept him in their hearts along with our family . So many people have been destroyed by the loss of tylers laughter sense of humor and just love that surrounds his whole being .How does a human being that has so much love and only goodness to give have to endure so much painso much fear have to fight for their lives at the age of 14 like no other and then lose that battle to no fault other than the horrific destruction that was brought upon him. Some say let go of it move on easier said than done Until you lie in someones shoes wake up with the pain wake up with a broken heart each and every morning than one can not imagine nor should they of the struggle each day brings and how there is no closure No way of resolving this othert than ensuring that others never have to endur ethis pain when it is so preventable. I know it has been said people are tired of hearing it people are tired of the painpeople are tired o fthe story. Can someone imagine how tiring it is to live it . How much it means to have others to lean onto hold you up.How important it is for people to be there unconditional when we feel like we can not do it any longer . Those are the people that hold us up and make us make t through another fay of sorrow pain and loss for the laughter love and heart of our child . Seeing all the boys growing up making a future for themselves is so painful but yet seeing htat they never forgot Tyler makes each moment a little more bearable Such pain Close
<3/ Becca Z. (friend)
Maart 16 2011
Today marks four years since your accident. I remember last year your mom took me to Markham Park. She took me to the place where you should've been the place where you ARE allowed to jet ski. It tore me apart inside.
I'm In class right now and my professor is talking about selfishness. HE asked if we know somebody who is selfish. And one name right away popped in my head. How could somebody be so dang selfish!!! PLEASE tell me how!! In the jet ski part of Markham park it is wide open and it has lifeguards on duty at all times! Because SOMEBODY had to be SELFISH I had to lose my best friend. Somebody who didn't deserve to die. Somebody who had his future planned out and knew what he wanted and where he wanted to go with life. Somebody Who was there and had a good head on his shoulder. Somebody who had a little baby brother he was SOOOO proud of and excited to raise. Look who he has now (as a male figure)!!! Who's that little boy suppose to look up to now as a male role model?
I brought over this guy Jack to your house. HE met your family and RIGHT AWAY Cole was in love with Jack. "Where's Jack?" "Jack play Wii Batman with me." "Jack come watch me ice skate." Every time Jack or Cole won in the game we (Jack Cole Jordan and I) were all playing Cole would run to Jack and give him a hug and get so excited. It was SOOOO cute. :] It just shows how much he looks for that male figure in his life. He's really looking for you Tyler.
I went with Jack to Cole's ice skating since Cole kept asking us to go. He' NOW ice skating with the hockey stick. And oh my GOODNESS!!!! He's like little mini you. He's only five and is like ice skating like he has been going it for years. It's incredible! He still has that sparkle of you in his eye.
Well it's Maart 28th now and every night since the 16th I have had dreams or signs of you. One brought me into tears but I knew it was just you telling me you love me and you're still here. I'm dying the bottom of my hair green today!!! I'm sooo excited to see how it turns out this year. Nobody will EVER forget you OR forget everything you did for all of us. The jokes memories movie nights fourth of Juli New Years birthdays and every crazy time we spent with you.
Ty I miss you so much. Reading old Myspace messages just kill me inside. Your humor and our weird/funny inside jokes. Blah. How life would be so different with you still here. I love you Tyler. I miss you like crazy. You'll always be in my heart <3
(Britt showed me this song)
Brantley Gilbert- Saving Amy:
Amy’s got the letters I wrote
My picture in a frame
She’s had a year to let go
She's still wearing my ring
It hasn’t left her finger
Since the night that I proposed
When I promised her forever before I took her home
But I never made it home that night
A part of her died too
I watched her losing her mind
And there’s nothing I can do
Yea sometimes she goes crazy
Screaming out my name
Saying baby please come and save me
I wish she knew I’d do anything
To kiss the tears right off her face
Tell her everything’s okay
Feel her heart beat next to mine
And make up for lost time
Oh but God I know I can’t
But you can’t let her live this way
It’s too late for saving me
But there’s still hope for saving Amy
Now three years have gone by
She’s finally livin life
And I still watch her sometimes
Just to make sure she’s alright
She knows I’ll always be there
In her heart and in her dreams
Cause God I promised her forever
And that’s one promise I intend to keep
To kiss the tears right off her face
Tell her everything’s’ okay
Feel her heartbeat next to mine
Make up for lost time
Oh but God I know I can’t
But you can’t let her live this way
It’s too late for saving me
But there’s still hope for saving Amy
I'll kiss the tears right off her face
When I walk her through these gates
Feel her heart beat next to mine
And make up for lost time
God I thank you everyday
For givin her that ounce of faith
That led her right back here to me
Most of all for saving Amy
I love you Tyler. <3 Close